stop breathing stop thinking those thoughts are not your thoughts

so…I just finished reading the Average American Male and I know it’s all irony and all that, but it feels to me like it was culled from a million youtube comments and a thousand names for videos on online porn sites and that it reflects some sort of mindset I fear might be an actual thing, esp when you see such hateful comments on so many blogs, so many Kickstarters, all by men, all acting out and calling random unknown women bitches and whores and giving death threats all because hey, they want something more than death threats and being called a bitch and a whore in life, you know?

and as much as I hated the narrator, I read and the book made me think about everything, about what men are supposed to be like, etc, because he’s such a cliche early 30-something playing Halo 2 and talking about how his girlfriend only likes tetris, and how he has porn fantasies about every woman he ever sees, and all his imagination, all his thoughts, they are reflected in the porn he watches, and you have to think about things like this, about articles like this and columns at Vice that read just like this book, and you have to wonder how far the irony runs when it becomes actual reality and the irony is a wall hiding true feelings that are basically the same as the irony, but put on as a joke ah-ha-ha so funny joke.

it made me think of Marie Calloway as being a conversation to this, especially her raw and emotional google docs stories she took down a little after putting them up and live. It’s like, here’s the other side of the story, here’s what this reality of the Average American Male does to women, how it changes them, how it makes them become a mirror to the male gaze and trying to please it…but that’s if Calloway is real and actually thinking the things she says, which is interesting in itself…

They are both conversation points, one fiction dosed in a distance of irony (but reflects the truth of thoughts displayed in so many harassing comments online) and the other is sincere as we can believe anything on the internet is actually sincere, and I guess I can’t do a broad generalization here because I don’t believe in that sort of thing (all woman are X, all men are Y), and I don’t think that it’s true here….but every day I turn to the internet, and I can see so many comments of men acting like this. Fuck shit bitch whore anal sex fuck her in the ass I’ll come on her face fuck yeah fuck sex fuck bitches…

In the book there are moments of humanity that shine, but they are moments, just moments, and they make it seem like for a bit, the main character is a product of his environment, but I think that might be a scapegoat of sorts…

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